wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
