She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
