You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
