Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
