dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
