just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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