At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's get the cat blown out
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
