those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
