I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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