Porn is love you can see.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize