Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
