Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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