He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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