Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
