He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
