But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
