Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
