I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
