So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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