I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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