why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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