11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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