I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
