Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize