i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
