a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
