i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
