i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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