This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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