My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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