Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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