I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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