I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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