Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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