You just made me feel so damn special
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
