Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
