I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize