hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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