You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
