I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
