they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
