Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
