will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
