Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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