To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
