Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
