She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm always down for nudity.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
