it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
