Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
