I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
