If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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