Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
