my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
