She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
