i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He passed out mid-signature
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
