I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
