you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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