remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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