Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
