I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well most of my day revolves around power hour
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
