i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
