How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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